It's funny- the freedom and fun I thought I would have blogging about this process is turning into a journalist's hell where the very challenges I am having concerning the wedding might be read by the audience of this blog. On the other hand- maybe I should just warn you: I'm a sucker for anything that seems even remotely blogalicious- about you or about me!
Yummy, yummy, yummy, I got quandries in my tummy!
Out of the woodwork come all these tests I was never trained in because I lacked close cousins, siblings and a family that was able or inclined to reproduce at all (on both my mother's and my father's side). Suddenly it's all about: Who will be included? Excluded? Honored? Recognized? Thanked? Chosen? Celebrated? Shared with? Not Shared With?
Are you kidding me with all this stuff?
I guess what's most important to keep in mind (for those of you following my haphazard battle back upstream with a fork as a paddle) is- I've been in 3 weddings in my life.
Wedding #1 I was scattered, jet lagged, travel worn and in the process of moving my life to California at the time. I don't remember too much of it - I was a bridesmaid. I somehow pissed off the bride over something about flowers and didn't hold up my end of a bargain or something- vague enough for me to have blocked it out to the point where I barely remember it. It's still pretty clear in her mind- she's thinking as she reads this.
Wedding #2 I was getting my hair French braided by a friend and was royally screwed by the F$%#$%^ time warp of Daylight Savings Time. An hour later, an entire ceremony short. Racing through the backwoods of Western Massachusetts in an SUV that didn't take turns well, I thought I was just warding off the chance of running a little late. I drove up to find them in the receiving line (yeah, I was supposed to do something in that wedding too!). The bride said, "Well, we were just glad you weren't road pizza!"
Wedding #3 I had to read some stuff I hadn't rehearsed, somehow got more nervous than the bride and groom and while being cut off by the groom who didn't like the pieces I was reading anyway- had to cutely state "oh wait, I'd just read that piece..."
Jesus talk about a history of nuptial autopilot! With a history like that, you all might be in for quite an adventure (those of you invited, oh how rude)!
No, I haven't disclosed any of this to David- why do you ask? It's ok, he'll get it on RSS feed. He'll get the memo.
Exasperated bride photo used explicitly and wholly without permission (not an email or anything!) from Arthur Patterson. Thanks Arthur!
1 comment:
Welcome to the wonderful wacky world of weddings.
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